When's a stag doo not a stag doo? The Munich Chronicles Volume 1

No wedding, a missed train and a bag of lettuce - not the ingredients you'd necessarily associate with a stag doo.

I've just returned from what has been an eventful and hugely entertaining weekend in the beautiful city of Munich. It was originally supposed to be my stag doo but as other events over recent months somewhat scuppered those plans, I used all my PR-knowledge and sneekily re-branded it as a 'cultural weekend break'.

Now this weekend was quite clearly doomed from the outset. In fact, even prior to take-off it had already been christened the 'trip of the damned'.

So - aside from it being a 'stag doo' with no wedding - what else could possibly go wrong?

Beer Hall drinking...an experience

Problem number one. Last August I booked my friend Bordy's ticket because he was away at the time on his honeymoon. When Bordy got married he took his wife's surname (he's very progressive and forward thinking you know...and he's a drama teacher who couldn't pass up the opportunity to become Mr Shakespeare).  I just wished he'd embraced the change a little more and changed his passport. So, with two days to go we now have a ticket booked under Shakespeare but a passport which says Ward. Oh, and the airline can't change it.

Problem number Two. My mate Dav had booked a ticket for one of the other guys and spelt their name wrong.

This was not going well.

To top it off, we get to Wolverhampton train station on Thursday morning to get our train to Birmingham International and, thanks to a last minute platform change, we miss our train. Brilliant.

But things soon started to pick up. We got the issue of the mis-spelt tickets sorted at check-in and had a bite to eat and a drink before the flight. The lads had a Guinness - I opted for an equally refreshing pick-me up...a cup of tea.

We landed in Munich and made our way on the train and underground to our hotel. Given the comedy of errors so far with this trip we were all pleasantly surprised when we arrived at our hotel. It was nice.

We were to be joined  at the hotel by my friend Rian. Rian had taken the opportunity to make a small holiday of the week so he'd spent a few days exploring Berlin before swooping in to join us in Munich. On arrival at the hotel Rian asked us whether there was fridge in his room because he'd brought with him some milk, some muesli...and an unopened bag of lettuce. Apparently it's important to get your 5-a-day even when travelling abroad. Not the stereotypical start to a lads weekend away. And if you're expecting juicy stories from this break of drunken debauchery and Brits abroad running wild...you should probably stop reading this now...you'll be exceptionally disappointed.

Anyway, a quick freshen up, a beer at the hotel bar then off to discover the city of Munich. Alex 'Map Man' Angus led the way. We ended up at what can only be described as Munich's shopping district...not a pub or tavern to be seen. It was a bit like trying to get a pint in H&M or Debenhams.

Before too long we did stumble upon a restaurant and ordered our first steins of the trip. They asked us whether we'd like their 'special beer'. It sounded appealing so we said yes, thank you very much. Ten steins of special beer. Never before have I seen ten sober men flawed after one drink. It turns out the ale was rather potent and had an added ingredient of what I suspect could be anaesthetic. Never has so little beer caused such an horrific hangover. A bite to eat then a final drink at a very starnge bar which projected images of copulating snails on its walls and we were done for the night.

But we were here. Six of my closest friends, my two brothers and I, were going to have a great few days in the very picturesque, the very exciting and the exceptionally cold city of Munich.

It's been a long weekend, I'm exhausted and I can still taste the kebab I had last night. So I'm going to cut this blog entry short. Over the next day or two I'll get you up-to-speed on days two, three and four.

Coming up in The Munich Chronicles Parts II - IV - a hat that makes Rogers look like a spaniel, Des Lennis, brotherly love taken to a whole new level and the hotly anticipated arrival of Lee Gravy...

But in the meantime - here's a long forgotten Number One which I wasn't expecting to hear in a Munich tavern....