Derby's Del Boy - #28 edges closer

Four down - six more to go

Boxing Day football is as English as the rolling hills of the countryside, summer drizzle and a genetically irrational dislike of all things French.

It's the one day of the year where all 92 football league teams turn out on the same day and where the promise of the joyful family Christmas has melted away and been replaced by bickering, boredom and indigestion.

My mission to visit ten new football grounds edged one step closer yesterday after I visited the Pirelli Stadium, home of the mighty Brewers; Burton Albion. As with most Boxing Day matches, the terraces were filled with that faint aroma of stale ale and leftover-turkey-induced flatulence.

Burton appealed to me for two reasons...firstly it was a good excuse to meet up with my good pal Dav who's visiting his family in nearby Derby and secondly, after my ill-fated tenure as Burton boss in the 2023-24 season on Championship Manager, I felt I had to make peace with the fans.

Courtesy of Dav and his wife Hannah, I'm now the proud owner of 'A Fan's Guide to Football League Grounds'. According to my new bible of football stadia, the Pirelli Stadium was built in 2005 and became Burton's home after they left their Eton Park ground. It was a £6.5m purpose built stadium...I'm including these erroneous details to pad out the fact that the game itself (a clash against bottom of the Football League outfit Northampton Town) was so dire. But the upside of a small ground with only a few thousand people means you know the players can hear every witty jibe from the crowd.

The Pirelli Stadium - home of Burton Albion FC

Two stood out: "He's here to do a job...but for the life of me I don't know what that is". And my personal favourite, which I was still chuckling at two hours later: "I've seen milk turn quicker than you!".

They were the two highlights of what was a very drab affair which saw the hosts grab a late winner six minutes from time.

The real entertainment came from Dav's Dad, John.


Like my own dad, John's obituary will no doubt start with 'He was one of those characters in life'. There's something about men in their 60s who at some stage have decided to abandon all social norms and have adopted a 'bugger it, I'll say what I want' attitude; much to the amusement of guests and to the eternal embarrassment of their families and long suffering wives who seemingly feel it's safer to simply apologise for them in advance of taking them anywhere.

Dav's dad John is a great guy...and what amuses me is that Dav (like me with my dad) is slowly turning into him.

Brahma beer glasses from Derby could be popular in 2014.

John is like Derby's answer to Del Boy - but with a hint of Bullseye's Jim Bowen. Before we left for the game yesterday John wanted to show me the dozen or so Brazilian beer glasses he's acquired (I didn't ask where from for fear incriminating myself). And John's big plan - remember to think of Jim Bowen: "Ebay Jay, ebay, but not yet - no, World Cup Jay, World Cup!". Wheeling and dealing, Derby-style.

So I'm four grounds down - six more to go before the end of the season.

No reason for this outro - just a rather good tune. Coming up next time, my top 5 moments of 2013 - and the mammoth task facing me in 2014 as I attempt to complete my 30 new things before 30.