Nipple tape, Vaseline and jelly babies - I close in on #27

Nipple tape, Vaseline and jelly babies. Sounds like a deviant's shopping list reminiscent of my brother Alex's early career as a shop assistant in Ann Summers. But no - turns out these items are staple products of long distance runners - well, according to my mate Dave Crewe that it is.

I've just returned from a weekend away in Oldham and Rochdale. Quite frankly, not a sentence too many people are likely to say.

Now for the observant of you, you may remember that I've already blogged about #27 on my list. If you need a quick reminder you can read it here. If you can't be bothered the short version is: run two half marathons, one of which needs to be sub 1hr 55m.

Crewe and I before the race...

Well, this morning I completed one third of that target.

This story started two years in Cardiff with the foolish consumption of a Chinese buffet meal 24 hours prior to the Wolverhampton half-marathon. It's suffice to say the Chicken Satay took its revenge on two fronts; with the world seemingly dropping out of me prior to the race and the rest coming out the other way half way around. It's fair to conclude that feeling has stuck with me for sometime so I've been approaching today with an element of trepidation. This trepidation was of course heightened by my foolish decision to prepare for the 5th hilliest half marathon in the UK just two and half weeks ago.

I'd known it was coming since I agreed to take part back in March - and I've been hoping my mate 'Crewe' would forget about it ever since. He didn't.

For those of you who don't know Crewe - he's what most people would class as 'one of those characters in life'. He's a dry-witted Northerner who makes Karl Pilkington look positively cheery about life. He's a man who's definition of 'good' in life is 'the opening 30 minutes of Saving Private Ryan'...and that's about it.

So it was he whom I chose to embark upon this madness with. As I awoke this morning, I went downstairs in Crewe's house to be greeted by the Chariots of Fire theme tune belting out before hearing a phrase I wasn't expecting: "Right, my nipple tape's on and I've Vaselined my ar*e - I'm ready". Ok then...

As a seasoned runner, Crewe tells me these are standard  - personally, what he and his wife do in the privacy of their own home is up to them. Crewe then prepared a bowl of porridge and got out the jelly babies - a source of much needed sugar to consume during the race to get you around the course. I nearly ended up with Vegan Haribo after his wife mistakenly thought I was vegetarian. The thought was there - but gagging on a gelatine-free fried egg after 9 miles didn't overly appeal.

Being the good friend that he is - Crewe abandoned me after the first three quarters of a mile. The following 13 miles it was just me and the Lowry-like mill town landscapes. And of course hills. The next time I saw him was at the finish line. That's right - the finish line...which I crossed...having not stopped for 13.2 miles. I'd conquered the hills and moors of Oldham - and came it an acceptable 2hrs and 1 minute. But that's not to say it didn't hurt. The 4 hill climbs were tough - the last one was bordering on excruciating. But I dug in deep and powered on.

Some seasoned Oldham runners told us that because of the gradient of the hills, you lose around 6 minutes compared to a flatter race. That puts me on course to achieve my sub-1 hour 55mins next time around. Watch out Stafford - I'm coming for you in March.

I couldn't think of a decent 'run' based outro without playing the Spencer Davis Group again so this is me tenuous link of the day.

I ran in Oldham...Oldham has hills and trees...there was an American teen drama called One Tree Hill...here's Gavin DeGraw...