#9 - "I don't like cricket...it's alright I suppose"





Lord's - the home of cricket...and lots of posh people

Cricket's a funny old game. You can play for five days and still not emerge with a winner. I can understand why the Americans have never really taken to it.

I was always under the assumption that cricket was just dull and played by posh snobs and that rugby was for the fat kids who couldn't play football. Whereas I still couldn't care less about rugby, I've learnt to appreciate cricket as the years have gone by.


Iconic. Cherie Blair's mouth. A bit harsh perhaps?

To me, 'outside leg stump' still sounds like some sort of medical condition and as for 'short fine leg', well, it sounds like a compliment. Reality is, I'll never fully understand the game - but I do actually quite like it now. That's mostly thanks to my top pal from uni, Dav Tomlinson. A Derbyshire-lad born and bred and lover of all things leather and willow (it's always the quiet ones). I've spent some cracking days over the years watching cricket with him and his wife, Hannah. But I guess to get a real feel for cricket you need to go to its spiritual home - Lords. So, at number 9 on my list, I did just that.
It was like a completely different world. If there'd been a referendum in that ground on Saturday it would have been a UKIP landslide. It really was a long way from Dudley. And for most people there I suspect the answer to practically every single question you could ask them would be 'bring back the Empire old chap'. Very weird indeed. Now as I don't know a googly from a full toss (although there were quite a lot of full tossers there on Saturday) I thought I'd invite my second guest blogger to give us a small match report.

Over to you Dav...

 

Hannah, Garv, me and Dav at silly-mid wicket point

Cricket at Lords is about as English as you can get... it’s a roast beef dinner, it’s an episode of Only Fools and Horses, it’s a James Bond film on a Bank Holiday, and most importantly of all it’s pure bliss. We arrived at the Home of Cricket with plenty of time having made a short stop at Sainsbury’s to get supplies (or Saino’s as Garv lovingly calls it). When I say supplies I mean 4 cans of beer and 2 bottles of wine – thank you MCC. It’s hard to describe Lords, try and imagine every stereotype you have about cricket, the old British Empire and old men in brightly colours clothing and you’re pretty much there. Lords has an eclectic mix of old and new. At one end you have the famous Victorian Pavilion (built in 1889 by Thomas Verity if you’re interested) and the very modern looking Media Centre (commonly known as Cherie Blair’s Mouth) at the other. The weather was good, we had cracking seats and as the clock under Old Father Time clicked over to 11 the play began...     


 

The day started with two Yorkies at the crease. We had Joe ‘yes he really is old enough to play’ Root and Tim ‘Bres-Lad’ Bresnan. England started the day’s play on 31-3 although thanks to dismissing the Aussies for a rather embarrassing 128 the day before were in real terms on 264-3. The plan would have been to bat bat bat and in doing so humiliate the Aussies and to grind them into the hard Lords dirt. Well I am pleased to report this was one of those times that the best laid plans of mice and men actually happened. England only lost one wicket before tea (Bresnan was caught out by Rogers off the bowling of James Pattinson for 38). The wicket of Bres Lad brought the in form Ian Bell to the crease. Bell is to batting what Stephen Fry is to light entertainment – he is classy, good to watch and is impossible not to like. Bell made a stunningly patient and elegant 74 before also being caught out by Chris Rogers but this time off the bowling of the truly dreadful Steve Smith. There’s a saying in cricket that ‘shit gets wickets’ and Smith proves that saying is still relevant in the test arena.

England finished the day on 333-5 which was a lead of 566 or in other words about 400 too many. As if this wasn’t good enough a new legend in the making was born. Joe Root is fast becoming a cult hero amongst England fans. He looks like that annoying little kid in year 7 who was good enough to play in the year 10 cricket side. Although he is pint sized and baby faced he bats with the authority of a cross between W.G. Grace and Sir Ian Botham. Joe Root is the most exciting thing to happen to English Cricket since Freddie Flintoff terrorised the Aussies in 2005. Root scored a quite magnificent 178 not out with an innings mixed with brilliant defensive shots and some big hitting sixes towards the end of the days play. The sound of Rooooooot echoed around Lords as time was finally called at a little after 6pm.

Off the field we enjoyed the beers and the banter a day at the test can bring. On a personal note I enjoyed seeing Garv’s face when he found out that a large Pimms he had ordered (which was a part of his round) set him back £9. My heart also goes out to the South African lad sitting in front of us who spent all day chatting up the very attractive girl he was sitting next to. He had absolutely no chance – I will go as far as to say there is more chance of seeing an Aussie turn down a free beer than that poor lad has of taking her to a second day at the Test. In all it was a day for the cricket purists but nonetheless a great experience and one I hope to repeat in the future. When talking about the days play the former Australian great Glenn McGrath said “It was a horror day for Australia” – I have waited so long to hear him say that. Do you know what, I don’t like Cricket... I LOVE IT!